Fear…

I’d be lying if I said wasn’t nervous about the surgery.

Sure, Franciscan is a ‘center for excellence,’ which I believe I a really cool way of saying that they have killed less people than most other hospitals.  And I’m not saying I expect anything bad to happen.

However, in my ____ years on the planet (what, you think I am going to tell you my age?), I have had one surgery, when I was 6 months old, for a hernia.

Surprisingly, I don’t remember it.

So, of course, the worst case scenarios have rattled around in my head a bit.  What happens if I don’t make it through, what about the kids, what about the mortgage and the house? How will they be taken care?  Why don’t I have a will?  Why do I wait til the last minute to do anything?

These wonderings don’t last long, but when they do, they sit in my head for a bit. It’s not a panic, at all, but more a pondering, and review of what my concerns are.

And it certainly isn’t enough to keep me from moving forward with the surgery.  There is a .1 % chance that there could be complications.  I’m special, but I am not ‘.1% special.’

On a side note, I expect posts to start being more frequent.  As we get closer, more doctor appointments, thoughts and changes to share.

Thanks for taking the ride with me.

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